Sarhea has lyme...

Young mother Sarhea's photos have been entered for the P/f Dutch photography portfolio award. Lyme disease kills! We must tell the world about this awful disease, spread the word (and photos too).

Seeing the smiley faces of my kids next to my bed was the highlight of the day

#wemustfindacure - Yolanda Foster. She was recently interviewed by the Dutch tv about her Lyme disease situation, which was very similar to Saar's. Saar has EDS-syndrome as well, so we don't know if she's ever able to walk again (like Yolanda)...

Dear Lissy,

this week I was told that you are suffering from a defect of the thyroid gland, next to your allergies and asthma... dear sunshine, we love you so much and we feel very sorry for you ♥

you had to go through a big series of tests in the hospital, but were a true hero ♥

With her mother Saar it's getting worse.

Her peg sonde had to be removed due to a severe infection. She's in more pain than ever before and has lost more weight, now to a critical level.

I am so glad that I could take these precious pictures of her and her family on vacation - I'd love to come again soon! But what a shame, all money's gone... no more funds to pay for my train ticket... And I don't get paid leave, so we will have to ask you to HELP us to get to Sarhea and her family.

Next to sharing her illness, she's also sharing her happiness, and by doing so she inspires many. You can send money to IBAN: NL41ABNA0607286849 en de BIC: ABNANL2A

or use info@mery.nl for Paypal)

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.

'Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present.'

Baby Elijah & Saar

Elijah 1 :)

                                      Family happiness

Exhausted Saar, 17 March 2013, birthday party for baby Elijah, turning 1....

My dear Lord, it's so unfair!

Now Saar is back home from the nightly rush into the Bonn hospital, and was she able to live with her family again and be part of Elijah turning 1.

But now what? How will it end? Nobody knows... she's off the anti-biotics, what's next? The Lyme bacterias take over??? Goosebumps when I think of the outcome! Dear Saar, having to go through all this suffering! Lyme sucks big time!

I'd like to go to her again, comfort her, and be there with my camera. 
Please, can you help us?

We're also creating a book series where we're going to use a lot of Saar's own pictures, like in this post.

Photography is therapy, and YOU CAN help us:

If you'd like to support Saar and her family, please donate via Paypal

*** God bless you all ***

or IBAN: NL41ABNA0607286849 + BIC: ABNANL2A if you want to pay via online banking.

17 maart 2013, Saar suffers, you can see it in her eyes, happy birthday Elijah or not...

Saar & me 2

Last week I finally had the chance to go to Saar again. Sarhea's mom drove to the German clinic together with Saar's son Elijah. If the photos are too small, you can click on one and browse through bigger sized photos.

The German clinic is specialised in Lyme disease, the docters live near the clinic and walk in and out all day. Patients rent an appartment, quite big, so you don't sleep in a ward. The weather was perfect, sunny, 19 degrees Celcius. Nutella had opened the balcony door and we were happy to be there, all together enjoying the day.

Ofcourse Saar now wanted to go outside, on the small balcony. Yes, a quick smoke too. And Nutella, strong, strong Nutella, she lifts Saar from bed to bed, to toilet, to balcony. Wow. Respect to this brave little lady!

Elijah wants the oxygen tube

Sweet baby, but exhausting too...

Saar has a hospital bed, but also likes to sleep in the big bed, together with Nutella. Cuddling and hugging, Saar needs it a lot. It must be so frustrating for her, to be in bed for over 2,5 months. She's such a vivid and alive person normally...

'I'm sitting on the balcony for the very first time Mel!' she says cheerfully. It's a beautiful day. We're alle enjoying it. 'I am having a good day' she says, knowing we're coming gives her energy. Later she'll be exhausted.
This is what we can do, for her. This is what WE can give her, and that's so very special.

Horror-hour starts...

There's the Doctor...everyone has to leave the room. 'I don't want them (her closest family like mom and son) to see me like this.' Saar tried to explain, the antibiotics are the worst. She needs 3 different morfines to fight the pain. The ab (antibiotics) drip into her vains and reach the bad cells right away.

Her inflammated brainstem, all the vains in her whole body, everything experiences pain. It's the fight of
Neuro Borreliose Lyme with ab. Holey Jesus, she's in severe pain...

I am speechless, but I keep watching her, with my camera. In the arms of Nutella she screams in pain, cramping and stretching all over. 'Mel, this is true hell, 10 times worse then when delivering a baby' (her son will be 1 year old next weekend).

...

I need to stay, she wants me to. I don't want to leave her anyway, not like this. I want to hold her, caress her, comfort her, try to take the pain away. She has to go through this very day, for months... how many more??

...

Untill that annoying bacteria is gone, gone from her body.
Only then Saar can be free, and happy again.

Saar cramps, having severe pains...

My God, powerless we are. How small I felt, witnessing all this happening to this little strong girl.
 RESPECT in big letters.

'Mel, sometimes I stop breathing, I do 'uh, uh, uh' and then my breathing stops'... excuse me?? She told me this as if it's not very important. Now she lays there, drugged by morfine, shouting in pain. The drip has to GO, GO, GO! But it can't and Nutella sings Saar her song.
So happy with smartphones, this way Saar can listen to her favorite music while in pain, let music comfort her. Tella has tears in her eyes.

Is the damn drip finally empty?? No, it's not...

I hide behind the pole with the drips, capturing Saar's face, screaming with pain. Got it, so beautiful, so ugly. I don't want this! (for her) I do want to document it! (for her) And then I feel I am done. Saar keeps wriggling in and out of Nutella's arms, I want to sit with her on the bed and put down my camera.

Better.

Nutella tries to tell me to take a pillow when holding Saar, and after a while I get it, your own body cramps too, when holding Saar firmly, avoiding her to pull out the drip. NO, Saar has 100 times more pain than me, I stay put. Nutella sees Saar is okay in my arms and goes outside to have a quick smoke to release her tension.

21 Years old. And Saar's biggest support in the daily horror-hour, as I call it from now.

Go girl, I am here, Saar's in good hands.

Then Tella also takes a few pics of me and Saar....

...

Again she plays Saar's favorite songs and then Saar says 'Tella, take a walk when it's done!' When the medicine's finally in, she can go out for a while, leaving Saar in my arms. And I caress her like a baby.

We sit there, Saar half sleeping, while it's getting dark outside.

She has to go through this every day.

All these pains because of an infection by such a small bug!

The bite wasn't recognized as being a tick bite. 'You're pregnant' (and experiencing pregnancy itches, this was the 'reason' for the rash). Ladies, be careful when you're pregnant, take extra care!! Saar now has Neuro Borreliose phase 3. Most damaging, most painfull phase there is...


Her German Doctor says to be patient. But geeee, how long can she sope??

Now and then Saar indeed stops breathing. I can hear her breath and then the uh, uh, uh and it stops. I rub her firmly, come on Saar, breath. And she does. She keeps doing this. Did she tell me coz she knew this would happen? So I wouldn't be scared?
Nutella asks are you going to be ok when I'm out. Yes, do go walk for a bit,Tella is taking care of Saar 24/7. Sometimes Saar wakes up, looks at me with her big space-eyes. Tiny black pupils 'I see 6 eyes Mel, one on your forehead, two on your cheeks and one on the chin' she says.

Poor Saar.

Pierewiet (her diseased bird) is there, an owl sits on her bed and a giraffe is there as well. She sees the whole zoo appear, so it seems. And still she asks 'Mel are you comphy? If you need another pillow you must say so.' So, so very ill, and still taking care of others.

Now it's a week later.
Saar's just been transported to the hospital in Bonn.

I don't think she'll make it this way.

God, how I hope I am wrong.
But she's a wreck, finished with all the pain, done.

Lyme, YOU SUCK BIG TIME.

Tick bite causing Lyme

Saar sent this photo to me a few times. The red dot in the top photo was the tick bite.
&;^%$*#!$*!
She has this red rash for half a year and NOBODY thinks of LYME. WTF?!?

Now she's phase 3. Not good. We don't know if she will survive this, and when she does, how. She apps, 'Mel, I don't care how I survive, I just want to survive. I want to go home and enjoy my kids. Even if it takes a wheelchair for me to take them to school.'

My dear sweet Saar, mother of two beautiful kids, wife of a beautiful man and daughter of a lovely mother. We all love you. And miss you already.

♥

Saar & me (1)

Monday 4 February 2013. I was able to go to Saartje who's suffering from neuro borreliose Lyme with my camera!! Thanks to you guys!!!!

I was able to visit her for a day, we were both so very happy I could do so. How many people supported our case, OMG overwhelming. We can still use much more donations, as Saar is very ill and had to go through a lot of (even worse) stuff then I photographed in this day when being with her.

02/04/13:
She warned me numerous times, don't be scared, I look like a wreck etc. My dear, I will be fine. when looking at life from the heart, you don't get scared easily. On my way to Nijmegen, where Saar was in Radboud hospital.
I found her room very quickly, and there she was, hidden in a very large bed. Two Bami-eyes looked at me, happy to see me in person. (we App a lot ;) To me she was Saar still, but I can image that when people haven't seen her for a while they're starteled. She's only a ghost of her former self.

But her eyes speak, and her sweet smile... O, how I love this woman!

Unfortunately you can also see the pain in her eyes...

This photo was right after the lady from physical exercise came to see her. I had just arrived, when this lady turned up for some exercises. Sure, go ahead, but OMG what's going on in hospitals?!? The first question she asked Saar was why she was having the white cloth in her mouth... Woman! She can't swallow! Why does she have to tell this again, and again, to each medical person that arrives at her bed?? "Yes, sorry, but we already need to read so much" (when I suggested this is all in her medical file, right??)

Dutch healthcare...with all the cut downs...the government is more to blame than this lady really. She only tries to do her job properly, in less and less time, with less and less money...
Sarhea was upset, being forced to act so fast, al of a sudden. She needs more time to grasp what's going on, but... there isn't any...

Saar exercising, in the foreground her vanilla pudding

Then a nurse came to measure her blood sugar. She arrives, immedeately grabs her hand and wants to poke her finger with a needle. She did say something about 'testing her sugar' but she didn't explain how or what. So when she takes Saar's hand, Saar wants to take it back, startled with the sudden movement and what's that in the nurse hand?
Ofcourse when the nurse explains it's just a little needle in her finger it's ok, but there is, again, no time to explain her properly what's going on or what needs to be done.

When you see her bruises you know why Saar hates needles.

Blood sugar testing

More physio

Her sugar was ok, finally. But on she went, more physio. Saar had to sit up, Oh, do you need your collar for that, yes! What good is is when she does get up right in the bed, but her neck cracks?!? OMG the lack of respect, it seems like lack of. It's mainly lack of time (money) ...
So sad.

Saar was very, very tired after all this. First photo shows her being stone cold after physio and hiding under the covers. I just sat with her, holding her hand.

She feels so alone. When your admitted in hospital it's worst I reck, the feeling that the world goes on without you. Even though there were plenty of the medical staff and docters visiting her. She's also in a ward with nothing but old patients, so she can't really connect with them. It was good to notice she could relax a little when I held her hand. I was just chattering away, like she wanted me to.

And then Bianca and Dimitri came! "Party" time! What a dolls!! They were determined to take Saar outside for some fresh air and a smoke. Now don't you judge Saar for that, she barely smokes and also she hadn't left the room for four days. As she can't do ANYTHING herself anymore. So this one and only sin should be ok.

We had to drag her out the bed (she can't walk) she needs to be carried everywhere. Her sweet husband Michael does this quite some time now, to get her in the tub, to the toilet...geeee, man, RESPECT to you buddy! The things he'll do for Saar...and has done so far...that is REAL love for sure ♥




















Saar really misses her kids. She being grumpy because of that and also, imagine how her family has to fill in the gap now she's being hospitalised. They are also about to move house (was already planned, before she got this ill) and the new house will need a lot of extra adaptions to get her by.

Sarhea is devestated to be this helpless. She thought having to go to Germany was already a sad thing, but being admitted in this hospital in Nijmegen, the Netherlands, is even worse. It means again more time away from her home and family...

Fun & smoking with Bianca!!

You can see her muscle tense is zero. Look how weird her hand holds the sigaret.

Though it's nice to see her smile, and see her getting a bit more relaxed. We didn't mind accompanying her into the cold fresh air, right Dimitri?? ;)

Back in bed she was supposed to be eating her vanilla pudding. The speach teacher was trying to teach her tricks to be able to swallow some food, they practised the day before and now Saar was going to do so when we were there (to keep an eye on her).

It was so sad to see her try to eat one tea spoon of pudding...my hear broke. All of the pudding just came back... What a sh** disease Lyme is!!!

Two bites of pudding: exhausted...

She fell asleep in Bianca's arms.

Then when she woke up again we worked on getting her nails done. Dimitri being a true nail stylist ;) and now she's got bright red nails again.

Imagine being in a bed the whole day. Nothing but a boring ceiling to look at. (She e.g. can't watch tv, she gets nauseous) Check out this post, with the new nail polish :)

She just can't stay awake...

We took her outside for a second time, and then I had to get back to Breda...Oh, how I wish I could see her again soon! She's not doing well at all, will fill you in on what happened so far asap. But please,


Dear readers: 
if you like to support Saar and her family, so I can follow her and work with her... please make a donation via Paypal to info@mery.nl or send a cheque to
Saar-Artstudio23
Speelhuislaan 173
4815 CD Breda
the Netherlands

If 300 people would donate 10 euro each, I can be with her for over 2 weeks!

THANK YOU

*God Bless You*