zondag 24 februari 2013

Saar & me (1)

Monday 4 February 2013. I was able to go to Saartje who's suffering from neuro borreliose Lyme with my camera!! Thanks to you guys!!!!

I was able to visit her for a day, we were both so very happy I could do so. How many people supported our case, OMG overwhelming. We can still use much more donations, as Saar is very ill and had to go through a lot of (even worse) stuff then I photographed in this day when being with her.

She warned me numerous times, don't be scared, I look like a wreck etc. My dear, I will be fine. when looking at life from the heart, you don't get scared easily. On my way to Nijmegen, where Saar was in Radboud hospital.
I found her room very quickly, and there she was, hidden in a very large bed. Two Bami-eyes looked at me, happy to see me in person. (we App a lot ;) To me she was Saar still, but I can image that when people haven't seen her for a while they're starteled. She's only a ghost of her former self.

But her eyes speak, and her sweet smile... O, how I love this woman!

Unfortunately you can also see the pain in her eyes...

This photo was right after the lady from physical exercise came to see her. I had just arrived, when this lady turned up for some exercises. Sure, go ahead, but OMG what's going on in hospitals?!? The first question she asked Saar was why she was having the white cloth in her mouth... Woman! She can't swallow! Why does she have to tell this again, and again, to each medical person that arrives at her bed?? "Yes, sorry, but we already need to read so much" (when I suggested this is all in her medical file, right??)

Dutch healthcare...with all the cut downs...the government is more to blame than this lady really. She only tries to do her job properly, in less and less time, with less and less money...
Sarhea was upset, being forced to act so fast, al of a sudden. She needs more time to grasp what's going on, but... there isn't any...

Saar exercising, in the foreground her vanilla pudding

Then a nurse came to measure her blood sugar. She arrives, immedeately grabs her hand and wants to poke her finger with a needle. She did say something about 'testing her sugar' but she didn't explain how or what. So when she takes Saar's hand, Saar wants to take it back, startled with the sudden movement and what's that in the nurse hand?
Ofcourse when the nurse explains it's just a little needle in her finger it's ok, but there is, again, no time to explain her properly what's going on or what needs to be done.

When you see her bruises you know why Saar hates needles.

Blood sugar testing
More physio

Her sugar was ok, finally. But on she went, more physio. Saar had to sit up, Oh, do you need your collar for that, yes! What good is is when she does get up right in the bed, but her neck cracks?!? OMG the lack of respect, it seems like lack of. It's mainly lack of time (money) ...
So sad.

Saar was very, very tired after all this. First photo shows her being stone cold after physio and hiding under the covers. I just sat with her, holding her hand.

She feels so alone. When your admitted in hospital it's worst I reck, the feeling that the world goes on without you. Even though there were plenty of the medical staff and docters visiting her. She's also in a ward with nothing but old patients, so she can't really connect with them. It was good to notice she could relax a little when I held her hand. I was just chattering away, like she wanted me to.

And then Bianca and Dimitri came! "Party" time! What a dolls!! They were determined to take Saar outside for some fresh air and a smoke. Now don't you judge Saar for that, she barely smokes and also she hadn't left the room for four days. As she can't do ANYTHING herself anymore. So this one and only sin should be ok.

We had to drag her out the bed (she can't walk) she needs to be carried everywhere. Her sweet husband Michael does this quite some time now, to get her in the tub, to the toilet...geeee, man, RESPECT to you buddy! The things he'll do for Saar...and has done so far...that is REAL love for sure ♥

Saar really misses her kids. She being grumpy because of that and also, imagine how her family has to fill in the gap now she's being hospitalised. They are also about to move house (was already planned, before she got this ill) and the new house will need a lot of extra adaptions to get her by.

Sarhea is devestated to be this helpless. She thought having to go to Germany was already a sad thing, but being admitted in this hospital in Nijmegen, the Netherlands, is even worse. It means again more time away from her home and family...

Fun & smoking with Bianca!!

You can see her muscle tense is zero. Look how weird her hand holds the sigaret.

Though it's nice to see her smile, and see her getting a bit more relaxed. We didn't mind accompanying her into the cold fresh air, right Dimitri?? ;)

Back in bed she was supposed to be eating her vanilla pudding. The speach teacher was trying to teach her tricks to be able to swallow some food, they practised the day before and now Saar was going to do so when we were there (to keep an eye on her).

It was so sad to see her try to eat one tea spoon of pudding...my hear broke. All of the pudding just came back... What a sh** disease Lyme is!!!

Two bites of pudding: exhausted...
She fell asleep in Bianca's arms.

Then when she woke up again we worked on getting her nails done. Dimitri being a true nail stylist ;) and now she's got bright red nails again.

Imagine being in a bed the whole day. Nothing but a boring ceiling to look at. (She e.g. can't watch tv, she gets nauseous) Check out this post, with the new nail polish :)

She just can't stay awake...
We took her outside for a second time, and then I had to get back to Breda...Oh, how I wish I could see her again soon! She's not doing well at all, will fill you in on what happened so far asap. But please,

Dear readers: 
if you like to support Saar and her family, so I can follow her and work with her... please make a donation via Paypal to info@mery.nl or send a cheque to
Speelhuislaan 173
4815 CD Breda
the Netherlands

If 300 people would donate 10 euro each, I can be with her for over 2 weeks!


*God Bless You*

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